THE CUSSEDNESS OF INANIMATE OBJECTS

Something strange happened to my computer yesterday. The screen suddenly turned upside down. Ha! I thought. I must have pressed something by accident. But an afternoon spent squinting at an upside down screen yielded me nothing but further frustration. Friends didn’t know how to right it. Maybe the Settings tab would have a key saying ‘orientation’ but no, nothing worked. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to write an email upside down while sitting on your desk, but I don’t recommend it.

I did begin to recall passages in literature when the cussedness of the inanimate object almost got the better of the narrator. J P Donleavy in A Singular Man wrote about his shoes and how one of them had dog dirt trapped in the non-slip corrugated sole. His efforts to clean it were exceedingly funny.

Doing a brain trawl through the chores attempted during lock down, I think assembling a Black and Decker Work Mate came out tops. Then Zoom, then erecting a tent in the garden, then unblocking the drain.

I’m not sure who writes about the frustrations of computer use, modern day gadgetry, or self assembly flat pack items today. Somebody should. It would make me feel better. And it would be very funny. I’d know I wasn’t alone at least!

It would be good to read about somebody else’s failures and frustrations. Now, if I can just turn the screen round..